What if?

I've been thinking quite a bit about how this quarantine might actually be the best thing that happened to my children. Check out this blog post from Altogether Mostly and consider what YOUR children might be building capacity for right now. 

Core Values

As an instructional coach, I deal a lot with values. Teachers, and people in general, are driven to do what they do because of what they believe and value.  Understanding and acknowledging our core values is essential to knowing yourself well enough to make change. Now, more than ever, it's important to pay attention to our feelings and determine where those feelings are coming from. Those of you reading this blog are living in intense circumstances - you are experience loss, working without childcare, teaching your children, doing all the housework, living in close quarters with a lot of people, balancing caring for young children, maybe dealing with unemployment/illness/outside stress ... all at the same time. Try this core value exercise to help you figure out where some of the big feelings you are having might be coming from. 

Use this  core values list to:
1. Circle 10 values that strike you as important to you at home and at work.
2. Narrow down to 5
3. Narrow down to your top 1-3

Once you have your top 1-3 core values established, write them down and keep them in mind for a few days. What do you notice? What is driving you to make the decisions you make? What is triggering you through your day and how does your core value relate to the event that triggered you? What are you missing right now in this shelter in place context that feeds your values?

My strongest core value is connection. Connection is what gets me out of bed in the morning, I yearn to be connected to my family, friends, students, neighbors and co-workers in a deep meaningful way. I come alive at work when I can help others connect ideas, connect to themselves, or connect to their students in deep ways. Although, the "connect to my family" department is at an all time high right now for me... I'm very much mourning the loss of my connections to the people in the outside world. I'm missing the small connections between moms during school pick up, friends at an outing, as well as the deeper connection between my co-workers as we problem solve together in our (quiet, pleasant, toy-free) office. I miss outings with friends and extended family where I can read body language and encourage others during long meaningful conversations. I know I will get these experiences back some day, but acknowledging the loss is helping me understand why I'm a bit edgy and make decisions like calling an old friend and going on a walk to connect, having a date night with my husband, scheduling 10 feet apart running dates and more to make sure my connection needs are being filled.

Try the core value exercise and consider how this shelter in place is affecting you at the core. You might just find safe solutions to ease some of your stress and anxiety.

Lucky for me, I have a husband who understands me and planned a date night where we could put Netflix aside and connect (we even dressed up!).

How to Grieve the Loss of Experience

Grief and Coping with Loss of Experience

As parents, caregivers, and teachers, we all know there will come a time when we need to prepare our children for a loss, whether it is the loss of a pet, a friendship, or, even more devastating, the loss of a close loved one.

With Governor Pritzker's announcement today of school being closed for the 2019-2020 school year, I felt deeply a loss of a different kind-the loss of experience.  Sitting and watching my two boys watch the Governor deliver the news, I couldn't help but become emotional.  Not only were they going to miss the feeling of accomplishment of being able to walk through the doors for the last time on the last day to close out a grade level, but I couldn't help my mind from going to all of the small experiences they were losing as well.

As adults, we think more broadly and project forward to what big moments like this mean.  It helps us to problem solve and plan for upcoming obstacles, prepare ourselves for big feelings, and how we will manage them.  It helps us process complex problems quickly, thinking of who we will need to support, what we have to offer, and where we can be the most impactful.  For children, big moments are processed differently.  They tend to see only what is in front of them, in the next moment and how they feel in the now.  They often feel powerless in the face of situations they have not encountered before.  Their minds don't know where to put the information and big feelings, so they often just shut them down.  Because of this, they tend to get blindsided by emotions when they (and we) least expect it.  They wash over them at bedtime or erupt during Google Meet sessions when they realize they REALLY miss their friends and won't see them for the rest of the year.  They sneak attack in fights with their siblings over little things or in the form of quick frustration over small problems.  It is in those times that we can, as parents and caregivers, see the grief process unfold.

Grief over the loss of experience is powerful and real to all of us in this time.  We will miss out on the coveted traditions we hold dear: year end classroom parties, Field Days, Ice Cream Socials, Clap-Outs, and yearbook signings that make the end of the year FEEL like the The End of the Year.  Grieve the loss of what would have been and know that your child is, too, though it may come out in different and unexpected ways.  Have a conversation that shares your feelings of sadness and loss with your child, so that they can know that their feelings are safe to express as well.  Share with them what they don't even know yet, but that we know as adults:

That grief is a process and that feelings change during that process: from sadness, to anger, to bargaining, to accepting, and that coming together to share our feelings of grief and loss is surely the best way to move through them.

As we take this time to grieve, I know as a Western Springs community that we will come out swinging; full of new ideas, new traditions, and new ways to move forward for this 2019-2020 school year.  Let's make our loss of experiences a time to create new ones that are as treasured and important as our old ones.  If I know of any community that is capable of that and doing it with strength and solidarity, it is Western Springs D101.

Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, Stay Strong

7 Guiding Principals for Parents Teaching From Home

7 Guiding Principals for Parents Teaching From Home

This is All We've Got

Pernille Ripp captures parenting and teaching so well in her blog post:  This is All We've Got

Just drop it!

I needed this one today! We dropped everything and snuggled on the couch and we are much better for it!

Preschool

Many of us with elementary age children also have preschoolers at home, so I thought I'd share how I've been keeping my preschoolers busy in the morning so I can focus on work and my 2nd grader's E-Learning. Disclosure: I have TWIN 4 year olds which makes much of this easier, but some of it harder.
                                                                        The set up

This might be the most crucial part of my "preschool" - I take about 15 minutes to set up their space each day. I have a designated place (away from my 2nd grader) where my twins "school" exists. I try to set up an area for:

• Messy art/play (play-dough, paint, kinetic sand etc.) - this is at our counter.
• Some sort of puzzle.
• Pretend- This can be a laundry basket (boat) and blanket tent (cave) and wrapping paper tube (fishing pole),  pretend food, a set of Fischer Price people they haven't seen for a while, small animals next to Magnatiles with a request for a farm etc.
• Games- I just raid our game closet and put out a game for the to play with. I'll even put out games they can't possibly play - and they can figure out how to have fun with it. 
• Building materials- Think legos, Magnatiles, or even a large pack of red solo cups!
• 1-2 other items they haven't seen/played with for awhile.
• TIP: Ask your neighbors and friends for unused toys they might have laying around- the power of "new" is huge!

 Circle time

Every school day morning, we start with circle time. This ritual helps my kids get into the mindset that the next couple hours are a bit different than free time. My son self appointed himself "snack helper", so after everyone is happily sitting down chomping on their snack, we do the following:

• Sing a song - I usually choose one from this site  or this site and repeat all week. 
• Pass a bag filled with letters, sing the letter song, each kid picks a letter while we all try to think of a word that starts with that letter.
• Look at a calendar- talking about the day of the week, date, what's coming up etc.
• Pass a "share bag" filled with prompts like- "name one thing you love"etc. or do a show and tell share.
• Go over the schedule for today - sometimes making some choices for the day together.

Learning time

Usually, I can get a good 45 minutes- 1 hour of my preschoolers playing on their own when I can concentrate on my 2nd grader/work emails. I'm not proud of it, but I usually listen for arguing and then I know it's time for me to pop over to "preschool" and play a learning game with the twins. Sometimes it looks like me helping them with play, sometimes it's choosing a game from my collection (see pic- no accident it's kept by the wine- he he), or sometimes it's reading a book. A few simple "at home" activities I've had success with:

• Post-it note letter matching- write lower case letters on post-it notes and put poster on wall (see pic).
• Put paper numbers in muffin tin and ask preschoolers to put that amount of Cheerios in each tin.
• Make a paper book. Have the children draw pictures, and then I write the words.
• Printing off coloring pages with images that the children choose.
• Play rhyming games- A few printable options here.
• I've also had success choosing from D101's early childhood E-Learning boards- ECE AM and ECE PM .

Final Thoughts

Full disclosure that there are still lots of moments of frustration from all parties in my house during "school" time. However, having a structure in place to deal with my littles helps all of us feel a sense of control and structure. We can usually sneak in about 2 hours of school before the kids head out for "recess" with their dad and I catch up on work. This is a far from perfect situation, but we are making it work (most days at least)!

Zones of Regulation

Sean Callahan, Field Park Social worker, has provided us with a few resources centered on the Zones of Regulation -

The Zones of Regulation have been introduced across elementary settings in District 101 and helps establish a vernacular for students to express their feelings in self/others, and also identify strategies to manage their feelings or zones. During these times, it is important for students to continue to identify their feelings/use their strategies as we deal with the disruptions to our daily routines and subsequent feelings that result.

• This handout is a good introduction to the curriculum. 

• This Zones check-in is a great tool to check in with your child and discuss their strategies to use.

• Here is a great article centered on regulation and Covid-19

A Course Correction

Check out this article from the NY Post

“As for parents worried that all this non-academic time is dooming their kids’ futures, research at the University of Colorado at Boulder found that the kids who have more free time to create and structure their own activities develop stronger executive functioning skills — that is, better planning, problem-solving and follow-through — than kids whose lives are more continuously structured by adults.”

I'm not sure about you, but I'm finding myself constantly telling my kids (sometimes yelling at my kids), "Mom is WORKING, kids are PLAYING. Find something to do." My kids used to be absolutely awful at figuring out their own free play activity, and they still struggle in this area. But I've noticed, as time in quarantine has moved along, my kids are actually getting a bit better at free play. I've observed longer sessions of unstructured play, new bonds between siblings, more creative play, and less time in my face. Don't get me wrong, I got at least 12 interruptions with questions as I attempted to take my first shower in days yesterday... but I'm seeing growth.

This article made me realize that perhaps what feels like neglect (when I push away the picture book my child is asking me to read- I know... I'm evil) might actually be a gift.

Spheres of Control

Image from Elena Aguliar's Bright Morning Website

This is an image that I refer often to in my role as an instructional coach, and I've been thinking about it in my own life these last few weeks. There is SO much that we don't have control over right now, so I'm working on thinking about where I'm putting my energy. 

I don't have control over the fact that my daughter is not getting the instruction and social interaction that is best for her age and developmental level, and that is hard for me! However, I do have control over how joyful our learning is at home. I can influence her confidence and love for learning through reading high quality books with her and valuing her mathematical thinking as we work together. 

I don't have control over the fact that my 4 year old twins don't get to go to preschool or interact with peers, but I can take this time to snuggle them more than I usually would. I have control over how much I read to them, take time to put out some messy projects for them, and really bond with them in a way that is hard to do when I'm working all day. 

I don't have control over when this social distancing will end, or what it will look like when it eases up. However, I can influence the amount of gratitude my family spends time focusing on as we stay socially distant. I can build in routines to state what we are thankful for at each dinner conversation, and remind myself to stay vocal about what I'm thankful for so the culture of my house stays positive on what we have - not what we don't have. 

This is not easy for me in other areas.  I don't have control over the millions of children who are suffering right now.  I don't have control over the plight of our amazing health care workers. I'm working on accepting these facts, and shifting my energies to what I can control and influence. Today when I find myself fixated on what I cannot control, I will look back at this image and consider where I'm putting my energy. 

Hope you can find ways to give your own pep talks today... thanks for listening to mine!

Teaching Reading - Part 1

Teaching reading to K-2 used to scare me. Really really scare me. It seemed like magic that these teachers could somehow get these wiggly kids with short attention spans to go from recognizing letters to READING. There must be magic dust involved. My teacher training focused on  grades 3-8 reading, you know.... when they could pretty much already read.

As an instructional coach, I've had the privilege to partner with our fabulous D101 K-2 team of teachers the last 4 years. I also had the chance to spend a week learning to teach 1st grade reading at the Teachers College in NY last summer with Lucy Calkins. I'm not scared anymore, I am still in awe of K-2 teachers, however I feel like I'm starting to be able to articulate in my own head some key moves for teaching reading. I plan to have multiple posts on this, but I'll start with what's been working with my own 2nd grader.

Full disclosure: ALL CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT which is why teaching is so challenging and exciting - I'm just sharing my experience with this one spunky 2nd grader. This type of instruction is called startegy instruction.

STEP 1 - Choose an awesome book- Pick a book that is interesting to both you and your child. This book should be SLIGHTLY above where your child can comprehend on their own. You can test this by having your child read one page. If they make just a couple mistakes, but generally get the gist - you are good to go. You might also choose a book with meaty content that your child can easily decode, but that's very interesting to discuss. Your child should be interested in the book - you might try the site Good Reads or google "best books for 3rd graders" for ideas. Chloe and I choose Because of Winn-Dixie.

STEP 2- Switch off reading every other page - By taking on part of the reading load, you are not only giving your child a break but you are sharing in the experience of reading. You are making it a bonding experience while providing an excellent model of fluent reading.

STEP 3- Listen to your child read- are there decoding issues?  This might be trickier since you don't have training, but you can do it! What types of mistakes is your child making with decoding? Is it that they are just skipping hard words? Mumbling through them? Stopping all together when they get to a word they don't know?  Note the problems and get prepared to teach into them. For Chloe, my very much NOT precise daughter, I noticed she was just flying through the page. She'd replace words with other words and mumble through tricky words. Even when things didn't make sense! So we made this goal together and it sits by her each time we read.

STEP 4- Ask questions and see if you can come up with a thinking/comprehension goal- As I listened to my Chloe fly through pages and I asked a few open ended questions, I realized that she was really taking things at a surface level as she read. I wanted her to pause and think a bit deeper, maybe even start to infer. Because of Winn Dixie has some awesome character development, so I choose a goal centered on thinking about characters both on the inside AND outside.

STEP 5- Let the CHILD do the hard work - These are the goals Chloe and I will work on for the whole book. She doesn't write about them, we just discuss. When we read, we always look at the goals first. When I'm reading my page I try to model when I have to STOP, and re-read because it didn't make sense. I try to model what I'm learning about characters on the inside and outside. But here is the hard part- when Chloe is reading I work VERY hard not to jump in too soon and ask - "did that make sense" when she starts mumbling. I will stop her, but I want her to learn to stop herself so I let her struggle a bit. When I ask about characters I try to leave my questions open ended to see if she can figure it out, "so what did we learn about Opal there?"  It's not easy, I often slip and jump in too soon.. but I'm working on it!

I'm new to this blogging thing, but if someone wants to know something else about reading - post a comment. I'd love to hear what parents want to know more about!