As parents, caregivers, and teachers, we all know there will come a time when we need to prepare our children for a loss, whether it is the loss of a pet, a friendship, or, even more devastating, the loss of a close loved one.
With Governor Pritzker's announcement today of school being closed for the 2019-2020 school year, I felt deeply a loss of a different kind-the loss of experience. Sitting and watching my two boys watch the Governor deliver the news, I couldn't help but become emotional. Not only were they going to miss the feeling of accomplishment of being able to walk through the doors for the last time on the last day to close out a grade level, but I couldn't help my mind from going to all of the small experiences they were losing as well.
As adults, we think more broadly and project forward to what big moments like this mean. It helps us to problem solve and plan for upcoming obstacles, prepare ourselves for big feelings, and how we will manage them. It helps us process complex problems quickly, thinking of who we will need to support, what we have to offer, and where we can be the most impactful. For children, big moments are processed differently. They tend to see only what is in front of them, in the next moment and how they feel in the now. They often feel powerless in the face of situations they have not encountered before. Their minds don't know where to put the information and big feelings, so they often just shut them down. Because of this, they tend to get blindsided by emotions when they (and we) least expect it. They wash over them at bedtime or erupt during Google Meet sessions when they realize they REALLY miss their friends and won't see them for the rest of the year. They sneak attack in fights with their siblings over little things or in the form of quick frustration over small problems. It is in those times that we can, as parents and caregivers, see the grief process unfold.
Grief over the loss of experience is powerful and real to all of us in this time. We will miss out on the coveted traditions we hold dear: year end classroom parties, Field Days, Ice Cream Socials, Clap-Outs, and yearbook signings that make the end of the year FEEL like the The End of the Year. Grieve the loss of what would have been and know that your child is, too, though it may come out in different and unexpected ways. Have a conversation that shares your feelings of sadness and loss with your child, so that they can know that their feelings are safe to express as well. Share with them what they don't even know yet, but that we know as adults:
That grief is a process and that feelings change during that process: from sadness, to anger, to bargaining, to accepting, and that coming together to share our feelings of grief and loss is surely the best way to move through them.
As we take this time to grieve, I know as a Western Springs community that we will come out swinging; full of new ideas, new traditions, and new ways to move forward for this 2019-2020 school year. Let's make our loss of experiences a time to create new ones that are as treasured and important as our old ones. If I know of any community that is capable of that and doing it with strength and solidarity, it is Western Springs D101.
Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, Stay Strong
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